I'll just dream of pancakes

I really want to use this blog to share how far I've come, I feel every now and then you really need to take a minute and think 'Yeah, I'm proud of myself for that. I just kept going'. For now I'll begin with something that seems to be a big part of my life and has been for a while now... weight loss. I even find it awkward saying I've lost weight, it's a strange thing to me. 

I have completely changed my life style yet some days I will wear something or do something and when I look in the mirror I look exactly the same as before. I found this happens a lot when I look down and I constantly convince myself that no part of my stomach has gone down. It's weird how others can tell you daily that you are not the same as you once were but it's really one of those things you have to believe yourself. If I don't go to the gym I feel bad, if I have one custard cream I think about it for hours and how I didn't actually need it. I don't know why I can get like that, I think I'm a bit off balance with understanding to treat myself occasionally and realising no matter how much I want them, in the long run, abs won't make me happy.  

Maybe I need to focus on the positives more. I have dropped four sizes and now go to classes at the gym on my own. When I first realised something needed to be done I was 18 and seeming to get bigger and bigger; I went to the gym with my friend and had an anxiety attack like no other. I think the phycological element of weight loss needs to be discussed more; four sizes smaller and I couldn't see that I would finally be able to get into smaller clothes, thinking that my size 16 tops still looked too tight. I've never really shared anything like this on my blog but I think its important to really take those moments to look at your life and see how far come as a person but most importantly be proud of it; I just wish I had learnt a bit sooner that I didn't need to lose weight to feel this way about myself, as Vincent Van Gogh once said “If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.”

I need to care about my blog again...

I have been away from blogging that long that I've started University and settled in, got a job, began my driving lessons, returned to Greece once more and got a tattoo. My blog needs a change and I hope I figure it out soon but for now here is the shortest blog post and me looking like a tourist in my own country.

Remember, happiness is only a hair flip away #3

The 'I got a braid and now being blonde is too boring' era...

I hadn't even been blonde for that long but I was already getting bored of it. My roots were making it look like a mess 24/7 and with the addition of a braid, blonde was just not for me anymore. With Katy Perry as my hair inspiration I went to the hair dressers with the hopes of purple dip dye and walked out with a head full of bright purple hair. If anything it just looked like I had bad roots once again! I don't really regret having it done I think it was just brighter than I expected and with it being middle of winter I looked so pale it was disgusting *insert stories here about how I looked dead and would constantly look back at pictures of my blonde hair and cry*. After that it was all downhill, the purple began to fade into a purple/ blue/ yellow colour that was just wrong. I was always complaining about my hair which leads us perfectly onto this final era.

The 'I've ruined my hair colour and need to sort it out' era...

The mix of colours in my hair needed to go. I decided to go back to black, finally my hair seemed to be the same colour although after a while the ends went green. I love having really dark hair but it did look too harsh so I returned to my natural dark brown colour. It was weird seeing my hair like this and once again I became bored with how my hair looked. I wanted to go for an ombre look where I could go back to the blonde colour although this time round would make it more of a caramel and the thought of not having to worry about roots appearing all the time was going to be great. To start with my hairdresser made the different colours so noticeable so I went back and was like girl you need to learn how to blend and now here I am, finally loving my hair colour, trying to make it grow and resisting the urge to dye my hair like Daenerys. 

Remember, happiness is only a hair flip away #2

The 'Every photo from around here should be burnt' era...

Lets begin part two of this hair journey that can only be described as a disaster. I feel like saying I was ginger is wrong, it was orange. God, it was awful. I wanted a really nice caramel colour and ended up with that mess. I then decided to get another perm that failed miserably and left me with the worst frizz imaginable. Then began a thing I had never experienced before, roots. I'm so lazy when it comes to my hair I just cannot be bothered to keep up with dying it. I try to fool myself into believing it wasn't as bad in real life but then I remember it probably looked worse. I don't really know what else to say about the hair that makes me want to burn every photo apart from the fact I live in fear of ever leaving the hairdressers looking like that again. 

The 'I never wanted light hair but kind of love it' era...

These were the good days. I cut my hair a bit shorter and managed to calm down the frizz, life was good but the colour needed to go. The ginger was finally gone and we begin the journey of me becoming blonde where all I cared about was purple shampoo. For a while I was kind of caught in between being ginger and blonde and decided I was going to go for it, I was going to become blonde. When I was younger I never ever thought I would have light hair so going to this shade was very strange to me but I loved it. After overdosing on brightening shampoo and two weeks under the Greek sun parts of my hair were becoming white and surprisingly it looked nice. Around this time I fell in love with curling my hair although roots were constantly a problem. After a week my dark roots would appear and they would look 100 times worse because of how light the rest of it was now. I do miss having blonde hair it seems to be more interesting although obviously I didn't feel this way at the time because my next and final hair journey post will show how 18 year old me thought it was a good idea to dye my hair purple that resulted in me looking like I had just risen from the dead. 

Remember, happiness is only a hair flip away #1

I cannot believe I am going to do this but in my 19 years on this planet I've gone through my fair share of different hair styles. It seems that my hair posts are my most popular on this blog and thought maybe it's time to gather all my different looks and create a series from it. Let's begin from the very beginning. 

The 'I don't care about hair' era...

You should all feel blessed I am sharing these photos with you. They show a very young me that didn't care about hair, make up or anything else to do with appearances really. Until I was 13 the only thing that changed with my hair was whether I had a fringe or not, let's not discuss the time the dog groomer cut my hair. I always felt my hair was too thin to do anything with and my natural colour was just a bit boring. When I was 13 I dyed my hair Red and I guess this is where my hair journey begins. After this I found back combing and realised that my hair didn't have to sit flat against my head; having long hair meant the back combing would drop out really quickly so I decided to do the thing most people regret and I cut my hair. I never really regretted it, when it was long it looked like rats tails at the bottom and for the first time in my life it felt thicker. I was 15 when I cut my hair, I probably just of just left it alone then. 

The 'My hair is so thin, surely a perm won't damage it too much' era...

And here begins the dark days. The days of the perm. Don't get me wrong I loved my spiral perm but after I decided to have three of them my hair was wrecked. 16 year old me didn't know how to handle it, as someone who didn't care about hair to now have this challenge of a new look everyday brought difficulties to my life. I thank the perm though, it stopped my hair from being so thin and could actually look full. Next came the frizz days that are still hanging around today. Yep, my hair was officially ruined. No matter how much I straightened it, it looked awful but this isn't the lowest part on my hair journey. Next came the decision to dye my hair black, have a long bob and cut a fringe in all at once. I quite liked it, I don't think I want it ever again but it wasn't too bad. I think it just made me look ill and moody all the time which is something I didn't like. I've really enjoyed making this post and just wait until you see the actual mess that happened next on this mad journey that is my hair. 

I missed being blonde...

Ever since I dyed my hair in November last year I missed being blonde. I never realised how much it made me love my hair although it made me hate my roots just as much. I thought this would be the best mix of being a blonde/ caramel colour at the ends but keep natural roots. It's no where near as blonde as last time and I think I actually prefer this. It's going to be perfect for summer and finally I no longer look like I'm about to die or constantly ill; I need to accept that sadly dark hair makes me too pale. Right now I'm just trying to find a way to style it and return to my great love that is purple shampoo, wish me luck. 

Birmingham, Manchester and everything else..

My love for photography seems to have returned fully now and with my art foundation coming to an end I won't have time to be making posts as much as I would hope. I thought  instead about sharing a more photo diary based series and see how it goes. I love when other bloggers do this kind of post, wish me luck.