I'll just dream of pancakes

I really want to use this blog to share how far I've come, I feel every now and then you really need to take a minute and think 'Yeah, I'm proud of myself for that. I just kept going'. For now I'll begin with something that seems to be a big part of my life and has been for a while now... weight loss. I even find it awkward saying I've lost weight, it's a strange thing to me. 

I have completely changed my life style yet some days I will wear something or do something and when I look in the mirror I look exactly the same as before. I found this happens a lot when I look down and I constantly convince myself that no part of my stomach has gone down. It's weird how others can tell you daily that you are not the same as you once were but it's really one of those things you have to believe yourself. If I don't go to the gym I feel bad, if I have one custard cream I think about it for hours and how I didn't actually need it. I don't know why I can get like that, I think I'm a bit off balance with understanding to treat myself occasionally and realising no matter how much I want them, in the long run, abs won't make me happy.  

Maybe I need to focus on the positives more. I have dropped four sizes and now go to classes at the gym on my own. When I first realised something needed to be done I was 18 and seeming to get bigger and bigger; I went to the gym with my friend and had an anxiety attack like no other. I think the phycological element of weight loss needs to be discussed more; four sizes smaller and I couldn't see that I would finally be able to get into smaller clothes, thinking that my size 16 tops still looked too tight. I've never really shared anything like this on my blog but I think its important to really take those moments to look at your life and see how far come as a person but most importantly be proud of it; I just wish I had learnt a bit sooner that I didn't need to lose weight to feel this way about myself, as Vincent Van Gogh once said “If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.”

I need to care about my blog again...

I have been away from blogging that long that I've started University and settled in, got a job, began my driving lessons, returned to Greece once more and got a tattoo. My blog needs a change and I hope I figure it out soon but for now here is the shortest blog post and me looking like a tourist in my own country.

Remember, happiness is only a hair flip away #3

The 'I got a braid and now being blonde is too boring' era...

I hadn't even been blonde for that long but I was already getting bored of it. My roots were making it look like a mess 24/7 and with the addition of a braid, blonde was just not for me anymore. With Katy Perry as my hair inspiration I went to the hair dressers with the hopes of purple dip dye and walked out with a head full of bright purple hair. If anything it just looked like I had bad roots once again! I don't really regret having it done I think it was just brighter than I expected and with it being middle of winter I looked so pale it was disgusting *insert stories here about how I looked dead and would constantly look back at pictures of my blonde hair and cry*. After that it was all downhill, the purple began to fade into a purple/ blue/ yellow colour that was just wrong. I was always complaining about my hair which leads us perfectly onto this final era.

The 'I've ruined my hair colour and need to sort it out' era...

The mix of colours in my hair needed to go. I decided to go back to black, finally my hair seemed to be the same colour although after a while the ends went green. I love having really dark hair but it did look too harsh so I returned to my natural dark brown colour. It was weird seeing my hair like this and once again I became bored with how my hair looked. I wanted to go for an ombre look where I could go back to the blonde colour although this time round would make it more of a caramel and the thought of not having to worry about roots appearing all the time was going to be great. To start with my hairdresser made the different colours so noticeable so I went back and was like girl you need to learn how to blend and now here I am, finally loving my hair colour, trying to make it grow and resisting the urge to dye my hair like Daenerys. 

Remember, happiness is only a hair flip away #2

The 'Every photo from around here should be burnt' era...

Lets begin part two of this hair journey that can only be described as a disaster. I feel like saying I was ginger is wrong, it was orange. God, it was awful. I wanted a really nice caramel colour and ended up with that mess. I then decided to get another perm that failed miserably and left me with the worst frizz imaginable. Then began a thing I had never experienced before, roots. I'm so lazy when it comes to my hair I just cannot be bothered to keep up with dying it. I try to fool myself into believing it wasn't as bad in real life but then I remember it probably looked worse. I don't really know what else to say about the hair that makes me want to burn every photo apart from the fact I live in fear of ever leaving the hairdressers looking like that again. 

The 'I never wanted light hair but kind of love it' era...

These were the good days. I cut my hair a bit shorter and managed to calm down the frizz, life was good but the colour needed to go. The ginger was finally gone and we begin the journey of me becoming blonde where all I cared about was purple shampoo. For a while I was kind of caught in between being ginger and blonde and decided I was going to go for it, I was going to become blonde. When I was younger I never ever thought I would have light hair so going to this shade was very strange to me but I loved it. After overdosing on brightening shampoo and two weeks under the Greek sun parts of my hair were becoming white and surprisingly it looked nice. Around this time I fell in love with curling my hair although roots were constantly a problem. After a week my dark roots would appear and they would look 100 times worse because of how light the rest of it was now. I do miss having blonde hair it seems to be more interesting although obviously I didn't feel this way at the time because my next and final hair journey post will show how 18 year old me thought it was a good idea to dye my hair purple that resulted in me looking like I had just risen from the dead. 

Remember, happiness is only a hair flip away #1

I cannot believe I am going to do this but in my 19 years on this planet I've gone through my fair share of different hair styles. It seems that my hair posts are my most popular on this blog and thought maybe it's time to gather all my different looks and create a series from it. Let's begin from the very beginning. 

The 'I don't care about hair' era...

You should all feel blessed I am sharing these photos with you. They show a very young me that didn't care about hair, make up or anything else to do with appearances really. Until I was 13 the only thing that changed with my hair was whether I had a fringe or not, let's not discuss the time the dog groomer cut my hair. I always felt my hair was too thin to do anything with and my natural colour was just a bit boring. When I was 13 I dyed my hair Red and I guess this is where my hair journey begins. After this I found back combing and realised that my hair didn't have to sit flat against my head; having long hair meant the back combing would drop out really quickly so I decided to do the thing most people regret and I cut my hair. I never really regretted it, when it was long it looked like rats tails at the bottom and for the first time in my life it felt thicker. I was 15 when I cut my hair, I probably just of just left it alone then. 

The 'My hair is so thin, surely a perm won't damage it too much' era...

And here begins the dark days. The days of the perm. Don't get me wrong I loved my spiral perm but after I decided to have three of them my hair was wrecked. 16 year old me didn't know how to handle it, as someone who didn't care about hair to now have this challenge of a new look everyday brought difficulties to my life. I thank the perm though, it stopped my hair from being so thin and could actually look full. Next came the frizz days that are still hanging around today. Yep, my hair was officially ruined. No matter how much I straightened it, it looked awful but this isn't the lowest part on my hair journey. Next came the decision to dye my hair black, have a long bob and cut a fringe in all at once. I quite liked it, I don't think I want it ever again but it wasn't too bad. I think it just made me look ill and moody all the time which is something I didn't like. I've really enjoyed making this post and just wait until you see the actual mess that happened next on this mad journey that is my hair. 

I missed being blonde...

Ever since I dyed my hair in November last year I missed being blonde. I never realised how much it made me love my hair although it made me hate my roots just as much. I thought this would be the best mix of being a blonde/ caramel colour at the ends but keep natural roots. It's no where near as blonde as last time and I think I actually prefer this. It's going to be perfect for summer and finally I no longer look like I'm about to die or constantly ill; I need to accept that sadly dark hair makes me too pale. Right now I'm just trying to find a way to style it and return to my great love that is purple shampoo, wish me luck. 

Birmingham, Manchester and everything else..

My love for photography seems to have returned fully now and with my art foundation coming to an end I won't have time to be making posts as much as I would hope. I thought  instead about sharing a more photo diary based series and see how it goes. I love when other bloggers do this kind of post, wish me luck. 

Kaleidoscopes and Ice...

  

I have really been enjoying the art I've been creating lately as it's something I have never tried before. My current project is revolving all around Kaleidoscopes; turning my photographs and paintings into this unique effect is very different to what I usually enjoy creating but so far I think this is one of my favourite projects. I am now exploring how to work with ice as my media and so far I am pleased with what is being produced, England being warm at the moment isn't helping me but I am having a great time making it. I am looking forward to summer when I can make more of my own work without having to follow a brief or a deadline. I am currently working on creating an ice bowl that I hope to share on my blog if it all goes successfully, wish me luck. 

It's a Big World Out There

With two weeks in Greece booked for the summer I couldn't be much happier right now. This summer is going to be an extremely long one and I hope to fit a lot into it. I'm hoping that I can travel a bit more this year, even if it's just exploring more that the UK has to offer. I'm also going to start sharing more of my photography from my travels, when you take over 1000 photos in Rome you have a lot to share. There is a chance to win two weeks in Italy on my course; if I won it that would mean two weeks in Greece right after two weeks in Italy, that sounds like perfection to me. Wish me luck.

Merry Christmas Eve, Ya Filthy Animals

I don't think I can actually believe it's christmas tomorrow. It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating my birthday or sitting on that Greek beach enjoying the summer. I have spent the day with my family and the evening will be me watching Love Actually; my excitement to watch this movie is getting out of hand. I've still got to wrap the majority of my presents that I left way too late to purchase. Each year I say I will start Christmas shopping earlier and each year I leave it later and later. Well, there's always next year. I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas!    

Christmas Songs

I feel the best way to get excited for christmas is to listen to christmas songs. However, 19 years on this earth christmas songs seem to be turning into more of an effort than when I was younger but I think I have found the answer to my problems. To begin with I would listen to people covering the classics and then realised, each year you need to find that certain one to obsess over. 2011 for me was Step into Christmas by Elton John; 2012 was any version of The Power of Love, last year I settled with A Spaceman Came Travelling but this year All Alone on Christmas by Darlene Love is my obsession. Maybe its a combination of my new found connection to the Home Alone movies or the fact I believe when it comes to christmas songs no woman does it better than Darlene Love. Of course I still love the classics like Band Aid and Mariah and will listen to them hundreds of times before the 25th arrives but just incase you're feeling fed up with festive songs I hope this helps. 

Christmas Movie Marathon

Now my Christmas holiday has officially begun I feel it's the right time to start watching all of my favourite christmas films. Although Home Alone has already been watched twice there are still plenty of movies left for me to watch. I feel like no film can get me into the christmas spirit like The Polar Express; there is something about this movie that will always have my love. For some reason watching Narnia has become a tradition with my family although films like Christmas with the Kranks and The Holiday aren't loved by them leaving me to watch them alone, this is probably why I don't get round to watching them each year. For my final two movies one of them is a low budget film found on Christmas 24 called Love at the Parade while the other is my ultimate favourite, Love Actually. Love at the Parade makes me want to experience an American christmas while Love Actually is the combination of a wonderful cast, amazing storyline and my favourite kind of movie layout. This year I am certain I will watch all of them even though my area in England doesn't seem to be filled with festive cheer just yet, wish me luck. 

Countdown to Christmas

On Saturday I unexpectedly ended up in Lincoln to see their Christmas market. With One Direction tickets finally purchased and a Christmas jumper as the key feature of my outfit I was ready to be festive. Maybe because I'm from Birmingham I was disappointed; in comparison to our German Market it lacked christmas and was a third of the size. All that aside I thought Lincoln was a lovely place that I would want to return to it in the summer so it wasn't as cold and would be a whole lot quieter. Lincoln Cathedral is one of the prettiest buildings I have ever seen, I would recommend anyone going to look inside at it's  beautiful windows. I still need to become a lot more festive and watch a great amount of christmas movies starting with Home Alone and finishing with Love Actually on Christmas Eve, wish me luck. 

Free Radio Live 2014

As one of my 19th Birthday presents I was given tickets to Free Radio live and the line up was insane. I was finally able to see my beloved Ed Sheeran along with all the other amazing acts. I had been to their show twice when they were BRMB although this year I felt it could now easily compete with shows taking place across the country. People queued for hours; luckily we managed to get to the third row even though we turned up at half four. Being so close to the front made the experience better along with the atmosphere and excitement making you instantly become a fan of each act. McBusted were amazing although I feel if I begin with my love for Ed Sheeran and his performance in general I will never stop; lets just say sing was more of a duet between me and Ed rather than a solo performance. I only hope I can see him again some day and I'm already 80% sure I will be buying tickets for free radio live 2015. 

My life in ruins ...

'Happy is the man I thought, who, before dying, has the good fortune to sail the Aegean sea.' 

I plan on buying myself a yacht when I'm older and sailing from one Greek island to the next, that would be my dream come true. Greece has to be my favourite place on earth, I have been there about 5 times now and leaving that Mediterranean sun and laid back way is getting harder each time. I will be visiting again this year and saying I am excited is an understatement. If you ever get the chance to go, take it. I have never heard anyone say that they didn't enjoy it as their holiday destination but just incase you need convincing here are some photos from my past experiences with my beloved Greece. I have a strong feeling this won't be my last Greek related blog post. You won't need to wish me luck for this one. 

The world is calling and I must go ...

In my time on Earth I have been lucky enough to visit several parts of it. The streets of New York City, the food of my beloved Italy and the culture of Cairo are far from my English upbringing. Don't get me wrong I love England but there is something about traveling and exploring new things that make you realise the world is much bigger than you ever thought it was. The thought of never leaving England would upset me greatly although never returning to the motherland would upset me much more. It may surprise you that I have lived in England for 18 years and 11 months and never visited London. Well, next month I will be visiting it for the first time and then again two days after. Maybe me and London have a relationship like buses, you wait forever and then several come along at once. Wish me luck.